First Love

I just slept for 4 hours today. I got an invitation from a friend to watch a movie - the reader. Boy has it been so long since i took myself into a cinema. The movie only interests me for the sole reason that Kate Winslet won as the best actress during the 81st academy awards for this film. The story was nice and kate portrayed a heavy role excellently. The movie's got a lot of butt-exposure scenes and bed scenes. To my male friends, if you wanna see kate winslet's ass - aside from that of Titanic - then the movie is for you. I cried when i watched it. I liked how the story went and evidently proved that all praises they recieved were very well-said.

The Reader is about a may-december love affair where the woman is older.

It tells the story of Michael Berg, a German lawyer who as a teenager in the late 1950s had an affair with an older woman, Hanna Schmitz, who then disappeared only to resurface years later as one of the defendants in a war crime trial stemming from her actions as a concentration camp guard late in the war. Michael realizes that Hanna is keeping a personal secret she believes is worse than her Nazi past, a secret that — paradoxically enough — could help her at the trial.

The film also tells about a lot of first times - first kiss - first love - first sex - first sensual touch - first affair - first trial of different sex positions - first heartbreak - first fight with a special someone - and first time of making love. Looking at the innocent boy who falls in love for the first time refreshes my memory when i first fallen in love. I was so young, so naive, so oblivious towards what was going on with the world and by that time, all i cared about was my happy heart making me feel like im dancing on a cloud nine. Being the youthful me, i was so fragile. How the boy in the story was broken-hearted was exactly the way my heard was broken the first time. It drawn me closer to the film.

When i went out from the movie house, something made me think. Is first love really never dies? If it truly doesn't, what will happen to the love that we found today? Why can't i feel the same feeling that i had for that boy? Is it just sleeping somewhere inside us waiting for that person to wake it up?

I would admit that it took me a very long time recover from that bittersweet experience.

SWEET

The relationship started as 2 complete strangers where their paths crossed in an unexpected time and day. It was just the start of the year when we bumpt into each other's way. We had several dates - gotten to know each other - typical romantic love story on bizaare times. We always had our dates during late nights - where most of the people are asleep - the streets are not busy - and the gentle soft breeze of the cool air lifts both of our happy hearts high. Every moment felt like the last for a boy who just learned how to fall in love with a fellow boy. Days, weeks and months passed by breathlessly for two young men in love.

BITTER

As we lasted, like a normal relationship, we encountered problems. Problems that were falling rocks around our ways - hurting us - creating loopholes and roadblocks that we both wasn't able to surpass. It was a tragic experience for me because i didn't have any idea what will happen, how to face it, and how to deal with the mess that i was about to go through. I cried blood during those scurrilous days. That was the first time my heart was broken. The pain was unfathomable.

Well, despite what happened, I still appreciated him for "passing by" my life. He taught me a lot of valuable lessons that until now i am still keeping. The pain had gone by. The memories are still there.

Life really is knavish. My heart learned to fall in love again. After every relationship, i still get hurt. But i managed to grasp learnings that keep me reminded of the things that ive unlikely done and make me prevent them. So to answer my questions, first love dies at the moment both of you ended it. Love exists if you let it rule over you and influence your life. Don't force it to die. It dies by itself. As for me, this is why i was able to open myself for someone else. I let another person come in to my heart and just let it learn to fall. The only thing that can tell you that you're ready to love again is your heart itself. It will just happen. If it becomes ready, then you'll just feel it without even knowing it. Finally, once love dies, it's gone. It doesn't sleep if it dies in the first place.

Well in my case - I remember the boy, but i don't remember the feeling anymore..